God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges
that we face.
-Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Ministry of Angels,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 29–31
Posts like this are few and far between, but I felt like I should write some of what I'm feeling.
Justin has been gone for 90 days (not counting the weeks of training before his actual activation, but also not counting the few days he was home for Thanksgiving.) We get to talk and IM and email, but not everyday, and some days it is only for a short time. Yesterday we talked on the phone for an hour and a half! It was really nice, but it also reminded me of what the hardest part of him being gone is...I don't get to have my best friend by my side. I don't get to share my daily events and feelings with him, the good or the bad. When I watch a show that makes me laugh, it makes me sad at the same time because I know Justin would be laughing even harder.
I know that this trial is temporary and once it is over I will have learned a lot about myself and become stronger (lets hope anyway) but sometimes I just want to complain and feel sorry for myself.
I know I have it WAY better than a lot of people. Some people are without their spouse for the rest of their lives. The day of their reunion is undetermined. At least I only have to go through this for a year...plus I still get to talk to him. I feel blessed for those reasons.
My brother-in-law directed me to this talk the other day, and I'm glad he did (thanks Jake.) The words contained in it are so true, and I know this from experience. I have felt the love and comfort of angels in my life, both kinds of angels Elder Holland talks about. Though far from perfect, I have dealt with stress and my own impatience far better than I ever thought possible; and I know that the strength did not come from me. I am so grateful for that, so grateful for the wonderful family and friends that I have. I know that I would be having a MUCH harder time getting through this year if it wasn't for all the service, messages, phone calls, and everything else my angels do for me. Thank you everyone.
This is one of my favorite excerpts from Elder Holland's talk:
I ask everyone within the sound of my voice to take heart, be filled with faith, and remember the Lord has said He “would fight [our] battles, [our] children’s battles, and [the battles of our] children’s children.” And what do we do to merit such a defense? We are to “search diligently, pray always, and be believing[. Then] all things shall work together for [our] good, if [we] walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.” The latter days are not a time to fear and tremble. They are a time to be believing and remember our covenants.
I have adopted a couple of...well, mottos I guess you could say. They are "This too shall pass." and "Time marches on."
-some days time marches a little slower than others. ;)
8 comments:
Thanks for sharing how you are feeling. I know anyone would feel the same way in your shoes. I think you are doing the right think by reading, studying, and writing down your thoughts. I like your motto "this too shall pass". I kinda have that motto for myself too, if I am ever having a horrible rottin day, I just say that to myself, go to bed, and I almost always wake up with a fresh outlook the next day. Even if the situation is the same.
Thanks Teri. With all that is going on in the world today, it is hard to get through sometimes. I have never been so challenged in my life as these past couple of years and thoughts like yours help me keep going! Hang in there! Your in my thoughts and prayers.
That made me cry Teri. I know its gotta be hard. I enjoy our chats almost everyday and even though I am definitely not justin( or have as big of a head hahaha) I am always here if you need to talk or just need to let off some steam! I love you!!
You are such a caring and giving person. It is wonderful that you get to talk to Justin quite a bit but it doesn't make up for your soulmate being absent from those 'little' things. You are strong and 'this too shall pass'. Take care~
i feel for ya Teri, that's a rough gig. i love that talk, elder holland is a favorite of mine.
just remember that your finest hour is often in the middle of your greatest struggle, and i have no idea what i really mean by that but it sounded prolific at the time.
i'm such a loser.
Teri, I honestly know how you feel. Although I think you probably are handling it better than I did. When Joel was gone to Iraq it was by far the most difficult time of my life, and the longest year I've ever lived through. But it did end, even though some days I was sure it wouldn't. Our relationship grew so much, and we both learned a lot of important lessons. You are right, this time will pass, and you'll be stronger for it.
I know it STINKS!!!
Love these kinds of posts from you Teri... You have a talent for organizing your thoughts and and writing them.
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